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And somehow still I doubted his love?That did it. I had a perfect moment of clarity: I couldn’t trust him with everything, trust his judgement and his motives, his abilities and his morals ... if I didn’t trust his judgement of me. He’d had the opportunity, seen the worst of me, and he still stayed. He still loved me. Even when I ran, he always came after me.It was time to put my money where my mouth was – I had to trust him. Trust that if he thought I deserved him ... that maybe I did.I sat up, suddenly wide awake. How had I gotten myself into such a stupid situation? Hadn’t I said – to Zev, to Nate, to Leli ... that they had to let the person they were with decide whether they were worthy? I’d argued with Leli, for heaven’s sake, when she’d used being Orlesian as an excuse not to be with Nate. Told her he got to decide if it was too big a problem for him. And then, not for the first time – it was the Brecilian Forest all over again, when I’d given Leli excuses for avoiding a. This is another. They happen to coincide but it is chance. If you cannot help then I shall not be upset. Let me explain. You see the man on his knees beside the Chair of the Council?”“Yes. He performed well this evening. A talented juggler, I recall. And now it seems as though he is an able fellow when it comes to providing a soothing foot massage. Although, from the complaints our good Chair makes about her feet as a result of squeezing them into those most unsuitable shoes, I suspect he has his work cut out.”Adelaide laughed. It was often the case that she had to ask her Gimps to look after those who did not always do such a good job of looking after themselves. “He needs to retire from the circus. He does not know it yet but we can see his reactions are slowing. His body takes more time to recover from the stunts and trials of performing. It is not fair to keep him here. Nor is it fair to simply set him loose. He is not adapted for a life alone. I am sure you will.
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